AWOL

August 2, 2010 | Filed Under Lifestyles of the Heartlessly Bitchy | No Comments

Hey folks… yeah, I’ve been a bit remiss about posting lately.

The new members are getting added to the site every coupla weeks -  thanks to my BitchBouncer crew, and lively conversations are still taking place on the discussion forums, but I’ve been rather remiss about any other kinds of updates.

I started a new job in January and it’s been very consuming – lots of international travel and 12 hour days, and quite frankly, when I’ve had off time, I’ve been doing things like fishing and hanging out at my cottage (which is off-grid).

So the site has kind of languished. I need to put some TLC back in – post a few articles that have been sent my way, add more Nice Guy comments (there’s been a ton), and put up a wordpress blog for The Morrigan (she’s been going throug a really bizarre time, but she’s OK and pulling through for her fans out there who may be interested).  In any case, my birthday is coming (I won’t post the date, but it’s within the next 2 weeks – and yes, I’m a Leo, born in the year of the Tiger for those of you into that kind of stuff), so I’ll be out celebrating and trying not to buy anything for myself lest I further piss off the BF. (We have a 2-month pre-birthday moratorium on buying ourselves anything and I violated it this month buy buying myself a hunting knife. I argued that a) knives are too personal and he wouldn’t know what kind to get me anyway since I didn’t know myself until I got to the shop and felt them in my hand, and b) it was over the price-limit).  Of course, my friends had a heyday with the first one, ”oh a knife is too PERSONAL!” and started suggesting I sell my place and buy a home in a trailerpark soon…  In any case, at least I didn’t go and buy something for myself that was on my THINKGEEK WISH LIST like he did a few years ago. (He really got shit for THAT one). 

So I’ll really try to get back on the site and put some time in again, and in the interim, I say Props to my Bitchbouncers for keepin’ it goin in my absence!

Email This Post Email This Post

My ideal Music Festival lineup

July 11, 2010 | Filed Under Popculture | No Comments

I’ve been at the Ottawa Bluesfest this week – which technically has become less and less of a Blues festival and more and more of a generic music festival over the years…  In any case, this week it’s been great acts like Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, the B52’s, Metric, Roger Hodgson (doing much of his old Supertramp stuff), and Moody Blues.  As you can tell, they are all bands that have been around a while, (with the exception of Metric).  I’ve gone to see a few newer bands like Down With Webster, but for the most part, this festival really plays to the boomer generation.  (Last year KISS was one of the headliners).

Don’t get me wrong, I love the old stuff and am very much enjoying the shows, however, I do prefer to listen to the new alt-rock radio stations rather than the “classic rock” stations.  And as such,  if I were to pick my dream lineup for a music festival, I know that most of my friends would have no idea who these artists are.

So here is my dream music festival lineup (not in any particular order):

Muse
Mika
The New Pornographers
Arcade Fire (playing at Bluesfest yeah!)
Scissor Sisters
HelloGoodbye
OK Go
Arctic Monkeys
Fratellis
Billy Talent
Franz Ferdinand
Gnarls Barkley
Modest Mouse
Vampire Weekend
Watchmen
Spoon
MGMT
Fallout Boy
Hot Hot Heat
Garbage
Interpol
Gwen Stefani
The Strokes

If you hear of a festival where most of these bands are playing, do let me know…

Email This Post Email This Post

Take our Canada Geese, Please…

June 4, 2010 | Filed Under Random Silliness | No Comments

A friend was recently commenting on how he stumbled across a hunting program while channel surfing. In sick fascination he watched… because they were hunting Canada Geese. They had all this expensive equipment and decoys and a blind set up… and he said, “I just laughed. I mean, all you really need is a bag of bread and a golf club!”

And that’s the truth of it. They are so damn prolific here, and protected, that they are a menace. They shit everywhere, fouling lawns, sidwalks, beaches and bike paths. The feces have parasites which can cause swimmer’s itch.  They nest in our parking lots.  Where there isn’t a speck of water to be seen except when it rains, and then they stand forlornly in the puddles in the middle of the asiles. The are not bright creatures.  We have not been able to teach them to use condoms or birth control to keep the population in check.  They are also viciously defensive and will attack your golf cart (or you) if they think you are too close to their young.

In one tourist-town I inhabited, the debate raged every year – should they allow the flocks to be culled?  Perhaps the birds could be cleaned and given to the food bank? But always some vegan, every-animal-loving protest group would form and make a huge stink, and the birds would stay, and breed, and shit everywhere, unmolested.

And so I say to you my gun-toting, happy hunting American Neighbors… please, when our Canada geese migrate south, take out a few of them!  Hell, take out a bunch!  Declare “Kill a Canadian Goose Day” in your town.  Many Many Canadians will be grateful. Really.

Email This Post Email This Post

It’s an unhealthy addiction…

June 2, 2010 | Filed Under The Heartless Bitch Way | No Comments

… “running” that is.

I’m convinced of it. And if the fact that 2 good friends are now forgoing social activities and injuring themselves in possibly permanent ways as a result of this addiction wasn’t enough, what I saw driving home the other night absolutely convinced me.

It was 35C (42 with the humidex), HORRIBLE humidity levels, and air quality warnings so bad that the school board cancelled all outdoor activities for the day. And what did I see on my way home? A pack of runners from a local running club running (though most were struggling to do more than a fast walk) up my street.   This isn’t exercise, it’s stupidity.

I am reminded of the comment made by a dear friend of mine, “Whenever I find out someone has taken up running, I wonder… what are they running from?”

Email This Post Email This Post

Hear Hear!

April 6, 2010 | Filed Under Politics, Social idiocy | No Comments

Let them eat Fake…

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Email This Post Email This Post

To Niqab or not to Niquab… that is the question…

March 10, 2010 | Filed Under Politics, Social idiocy, The Heartless Bitch Way | 3 Comments

Never one to shy away from controversy, trust Heather Malik to address the Niqab controversy head on.  You might remember Heather as the Canadian journalist who raised the ire of so many Fox News followers with her scathing review of Sarah Palin, covered in a previous Bitchitorial column.

The subject of the appropriateness of hijabs and niqabshas been hotly debated in the western world,  and I have to concur with Heather’s stance on the niqab (full face/body covering for women) for women in Canada.   While we may argue for individual human rights and the ability to practice our culture and religion, we must also judge with a careful eye (in the context of our social values) when those practices are actually harmful  – in this case to fairness, equity and the ability to advance/succeed in our society. 

Despite Ahmed’s accusation,  I do not believe it is ”racist” to require people to show their face when learning a language or working with the public – especially when the face conveys so much more meaning than just words – it is an essential part of our in-person communication.   More importantly,  I believe the niqab  is, by it’s purpose,  a statement of the mistrust of men and a placement of the burden of men’s supposed inability to control themselves, on women.  Both of which are not values that we want to engender or promote in Canadian society.

Just because a person has a prior cultural practise, does not mean that it is automatically “right”, nor does it give them the right to practise that behavior in Canada. 

“Ahmed hopes that no man will ever see her face, and that men will never truly interact or compete with her. We had that era in Canada, before the Persons Case (and long after), when women were fired from their jobs when they married, when women, Jews and other undesirables couldn’t get into good universities, when men ruled on sexual and reproductive matters, when society was compartmentalized to the extreme.

Email This Post Email This Post

I’m still alive…

February 14, 2010 | Filed Under Lifestyles of the Heartlessly Bitchy, Social idiocy, The Heartless Bitch Way | No Comments

I haven’t been posting much of late as I’ve been rather busy.  I started a new job in January, and it’s been very demanding, so little time is left over for recreational activities like HBI.  My co-editors have been holding down the fort on the BitchBouncing front, and I’ve been coordinating some software updates to keep things running.

On the plus side, I did get some time this weekend to get our Heartless E-Cards back up and running – so you can now send heartless Anti-Valentines, or any other kind of postcard via the site.

And while we are on the subject of Anti-Valentine’s, I came across this article at the Globe and Mail… thanks to the bf, who thought it would be good fodder for HBI. (He’s SO thoughtful!).  In it Leah McLaren basically tells married women that they should suck it up, be happy they are in a relationship, and tells single women to hurry up and get that ring before all the good ones are taken.  She sees Valentine’s Day, for those in relationships, as a competition to gain maximum “moral high ground” by one-upping your partner, and takes pride in the fact that she has won this competition the last few years. I could rant about how deeply fucked-up that is, but I think its sickness speaks for itself.  She then goes on to quote Lori Gottlieb, the author of Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, as justification for her own disturbing acceptance of mediocrity in her life.

In all honesty, I’d have to say this comment from “nj1928″ pretty much says it all for me when considering Gotlieb’s self-absorbed moaning: (do read the comments. Many of them are quite good)

It’s beyond insulting the way Gotlieb proposes to speak for all women based on her own particular feelings about being unmarried in her 40s. I’m sorry to hear that she regrets not having married & feels her life is now devalued because of it. I’m sorry to hear that she feels wasted & unhappy because she doesn’t have a husband. Here’s a big newsflash though: not every woman defines her worth according to marriage, and not every woman wants to be married. Many women (and men of course, but they aren’t the focus of Gotlieb’s offensive musings) enjoy meaningful relationships that don’t end in marriage. Many women are confident & comfortable dating as they get older. Some women even (*gasp*) ENJOY dating even when they’re 30+!

Frankly, to those who’ve read Gotlieb’s book it’s quite apparent that she’s suffering some sort of midlife crisis & is pushing her own narrow experience onto all women. She displays a disturbing narcissism in her assumption that what she experiences must be what all women experience, and any woman who disagrees is just wrong, obviously. It really is an unsettling read that leaves you wondering if she’ll ever get the help she needs to address her own unhappiness, or if she’ll just carry on assuming it’s all the fault of the world & other women that she wound up regretting her own choices.

Had the advice been “don’t get caught up in some narrow definition of a ’soul mate’ or ‘the perfect partner’” eg, I’d be all for it. But that’s not really what Gotlieb’s on about. Her sinister message is “get married young ladies, settle for whoever will take you, or else you’ll find yourself a dried up worthless old hag (over 30!) that no man will ever want.” I expect that sort of message from Victorian literature, not so much today.

As if that isn’t enough, McLaren then goes on to quote Elizabeth Gilbert ( author of Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage.) ,  stating

Perhaps the most interesting observation in the book is that, historically speaking, a successful marriage has nothing to do with love. In the course of her research, Gilbert notices that, across cultures and history, the divorce rate spikes as soon as people start choosing their spouses for themselves.

Ok, this is a classic case/fallacy of assuming that correlation implies causation.  I suppose it didn’t occur to Gilbert that in nearly every culture where arranged marriages have been the norm, women are economically dependent on the men, divorce is often verboten, or at least highly discouraged, and where divorce does occur, the result is often the women being left without their children and any form of economic survival.  So arranged marriages last longer, probably due to economic dependence and cultural boundaries – not because it creates a more compatible union between two people … is duration of a marriage the sole definition of “successful”?

Ultimately, I think that McLaren’s message, which may have been better expressed as, “see your partner as a real person, and recognize that marriages take work, rather than expecting them to be some idealized representation of the perfect spouse”, was completely undermined by the garbage she used to prop up her claim.

My message this V-Day is this:  Screw worrying about whether or not you are “in a relationship” or whether your spouse/partner showers you with presents because of some Hallmark holiday. Focus on the fact that there are MANY kinds of relationships with friends and family and they ALL take work.  Enrich your life by cultivating good friends and good friendships;  make sure you put as much into your relationships as you are expecting to get out of them;  and you’ll never be lonely or bored.  More than half my friends are single (both men and women). We all hang out together. We go on vacations, and cottaging and to dinners and to movies together. We have our shared and individual interests. We have our misunderstandings and our resolutions.  We host birthday parties for each other, we care about each other.   Tonight, on Valentine’s Day, one of these dear friends (who is single)  is hosting an amazing Ukranian dinner for 28 people – single, married, and some with kids, where we will eat, and drink, socialize, share stories, and play PIT until the wee hours… and we will have a blast.  Now THAT’S the best way to spend an evening, regardless of whether or not it’s Valentine’s day.

Email This Post Email This Post

Only The Morrigan could find something like this…

January 2, 2010 | Filed Under Lifestyles of the Heartlessly Bitchy, Random Silliness | 1 Comment

The Morrigan sent this to me today, saying, “I have NO idea what it is, but it’s right behind Police Headquarters.”

Necessary Punishment

Email This Post Email This Post

“Mawwiage…”

December 14, 2009 | Filed Under Lifestyles of the Heartlessly Bitchy | 6 Comments

So we went out on this “Santa Pub Crawl” on Saturday night – the theme of which is to dress up in a Christmas costume – Santa, Elves, Trees… there were even “3 French Hens”…   For the first time, rather than wear my “Grinch” costume (the pseudo-santa shirt made by hand out of an old red sweater and some fun-fur) and red leather pants,  I bought a cute little number I saw at La Vie en Rose – a little faux-fur-trimmed red velour dress – long sleeved and hooded, with garters and stockings.   The stockings that came with it cut my circulation off after 3 minutes, so I bought real lace-topped red ones to go with the outfit.  The whole thing came together very nicely.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, with my halls thoroughly decked, did the bf look at me and say, “Wow!” or “That looks nice!” or “We still have some time before we have to leave….”  ?  

No.  He said, “You’re gonna freeze in that.”

I don’t care if we don’t have the piece of paper.  We are SO married.

Email This Post Email This Post

Women and Public Speaking…

November 26, 2009 | Filed Under Social idiocy, Work | 5 Comments

At the Web2.0 Expo last week, a poorly-delivered talk by Dana Boyd of Microsoft caused quite a controversy, and the dust still hasn’t settled.  While the talk was disastrous in many respects, it wasn’t her poor delivery that is at the center of the discussion - it’s how people in the audience behaved, and the resulting comments on the live twitter back-channel feed that was playing behind her during that talk, that has drawn the fire and ire of many people.  The Eloquent Woman blog has an excellent article entitled The object in Danah Boyd’s Web 2.0 talk about why so many women feel uncomfortable in public speaking engagements.   Well worth the read, and she’s spot-on when she says,

Despite all the discussion, calls for apologies and outrage over this episode, I’ve yet to see observers pick up on an important point that Boyd herself makes: Some of the comments broadcast on Twitter by some of her audience members were objectifying and sexual in nature.

How many bad male speakers have to put up with that?   Sadly she confirms that,

In 2009, we’re seeing yet again an issue that has plagued women speakers since the days of ancient Greece and Rome:  Attempting to silence women by treating them as sexual objects (or hysterics, or other negatives).

Why does it feel like we still have a long way to go…?

Email This Post Email This Post

Your Ad Here


Allposters.com

Buy fun Heartless BitchStuff and help keep HBI running!

We now Accept

Acceptance Mark