From the mouths of heartless babes…
May 26, 2008 | Filed Under Parenting, Random Silliness | 3 Comments
Me: “Ainsley finally had her baby. 16 days overdue but 8lbs. 11oz. That baby wasn’t over due. It just wasn’t ready to pop. Not like YOU (pointing at offspring). Put me through premature labour hell, then come a week overdue at 8lbs 9oz!”
Heartless spawn: “I got one word for you: CONDOMS!”
Me:”Yeah, well, if we’d used those, you wouldn’t be here!”
Heartless spawn:”So? My logic is flawless.”
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Yeah, well, my mother was in labor with me for 72 hours. She used to try to guilt me into things by reminding me of that fact, but I just got to the point where I said, “Hey, *I* didn’t ask to be born.”
Yep, my mom has told me over and over again how sick she was when she was pregnant with me. Heh. I finally fired back with “hmmmm, if abortion was legal in those days, I wonder how many of us would not be here today.” That seemed to shut her up.
My mom had three kids, me being the last. To this day, she complains about her labor pains.
My oldest brother was a 9-pound baby, dry birth, no drugs. My other brother was born while my mother was suffering from food poisoning.
I was the easiest. Seven pounds, but I was a breech birth. My mom claimed that I was a hell-raiser during my infant/toddler years, just doing whatever I wanted. I suppose there’s a reason why I was born ass first.