Safe sex discussion with the spawn
March 15, 2009 | Filed Under Parenting, Random Silliness | 1 Comment
“We have this ‘worst pickup line’ contest at work. It gets pretty bad.”
“Ok. I’ll bite, what’s your worst?”
“Hand a girl a drink and say, Hey, how’s about you and me go halvsies on a bastard?”
“*groans* I can just imagine you trying that on a girl in a bar. You’re likely to get slapped. On the other hand, it might be a good litmus test. If she laughs, at least it shows she has a sense of humor.”
“Yeah, but what if it works on her – not because she has a sense of humor, but because she agrees? What kind of girl would go for a pickup line like that?”
“Probably not the kind that practices safe sex.”
“That’s why celibacy is the safest form of sex.”
“Celibacy isn’t safe sex, it’s NO sex. The safest form of sex is the kind you have with yourself.”
“Are you kidding? Have you seen my hands? They’re filthy! And who knows where they’ve been…”
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Bahahahaha! My 9-year-old son has already started with the pick up lines. He has a crush on a classmate and he decided to charm her with the following:
“Hi Savannah. I caught a stomach virus on January 6 and threw up 10 times.”
I really didn’t think I’d have to worry about this for at least a couple more years. WRONG. I’m going to explain to him the difference between polite dialogue and TMI with a crush. Sheesh.