Comments on: “Standards” or “unrealistic expectations”?

By: Carmine

Carmine — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:41:09 +0000

Thanks Jennie for having said what I’d already clicked on the comments link to say, but I wanted to reiterate it.
Mental illness is not in itself a bar to an adult and thoroughly fulfilling relationship.
On the other hand, I’d like to also make the point that it is possible to be mentally ill *and* a bastard. If you’re interested in the story behind that one it’s in the final post on my (now closed) blog at http://ascarletwoman.blogspot.com/

Don’t discount a person just because he or she might have been, or still be mentally ill. But don’t take every word they say as gospel either. I learned that one to my cost.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Tue, 12 May 2009 23:09:51 +0000

A history of mental illness isn’t something a person has “control” over either. But mental illness can be treated, recovered from, or lived with in many cases and with a lot of hard work. It’s not always easy, true. But please don’t discount us as potential friendships or even partners because of an illness that may have been in someone’s past, or even that they currently cope with.

I do love Heartless Bitches though. Been enjoying it for years!

By: Jay Stewart

Jay Stewart — Sat, 09 May 2009 14:04:35 +0000

I found when I have opened my mind. Removed “standards” like gender, race and class. My love life was infinitely a lot better. As for mental illness? that’s subjective. Because ones neuroses and quirks does not make for illness.

By: andrea

andrea — Tue, 05 May 2009 15:41:10 +0000

you took the words right out of my mouth.

By: Open Your Heart to the Love

Open Your Heart to the Love — Mon, 04 May 2009 10:23:26 +0000

Although, I do believe you have to be attracted to your partner, attraction does not sustain a relationship. I agree with your article, and that so many people only base their standards on physical attraction, and look no further.

Personally, I base all my relationships (friends, lovers, employers, etc.) on similar values. I have to surround myself with like minded people to be happy. Otherwise, it is hard to sustain respect, which is crucial.