And Bitchilocks said it was TOOOO BIG…
February 7, 2007 | Filed Under Lifestyles of the Heartlessly Bitchy | 9 Comments
Just to really put it all in perspective, I lined up all my measurement objects side by side.
Ok. Don't know about you, but I just can't buy the SEVEN INCHES story. I mean LOOK AT THAT would you? Could a guy have the erect girth BIGGER than that silver coffee canister? Unless he's part pachyderm, it's not bloody likely. And remember - the red-topped can in the middle is the diameter of the average baby's head as it exits the birth canal.
While I have no doubt her guy is monster-big, I think my friend's brain was so overwhelmed by the hormone rush, that it distorted her depth perception and ability to do math. It happens. And it's not like it's something I can confirm with him directly, though I'd love to have the opportunity. Purely for research purposes, you understand.
Yes Victoria, there is such a thing as TOO BIG. And Bitchilocks, she likes her men, juuuuust right.
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Huh?!? 7 inches across? Never mind blowjobs, think about a guy like that trying to masturbate. Would it even be possible? Could he get enough surface contact to feel anything pleasurable? And what would the length of the thing have to be to have something that looks more like a penis than one of those African huts with a conical roof? Sounds like a garden gnome in size as well as shape! Oy.
Umm, I suspect your friend might be having a wee spot of . . . what can I call it . . . tunnel-vision? SOMEone’s gotta be smokin’ SOMEthin’ crazy, because anything with enough spongy tissue at rest to bloat up like THAT is going to require the wearin’ o’ kilts ev’ry DAY–not to mention an insanely bow-legged walk in order to avoid death by chafing. Seriously, dude; what kind of engorgement differential would allow for any kind of pants-wearing AND a seven-inch diameter? Not the human kind, I’m guessin’. Not even sure about the equine kind. Seven inches in CIRCUMFERENCE I could buy. But DIAMETER? Not on THIS planet, I hope, for the sake of all concerned. That kinda shit would’ve made even Robert Mapplethorpe check his zoom lens.
I think the lady got her inches and centimeters mixed up.
For more real life samples look at these links.
4 to 5 inches on an elephant
http://keeskennis.blogspot.com/2007/01/elephants-for-libbys-grandtyke-or.html
2 to 3 inches on a zebra
http://keeskennis.blogspot.com/2006/04/zebras-schlong-dong-or-as-you-will.html
Sorry I know sh*t about code
I think your friend sucked at, I mean, flunked math class. There’s no WAY he was 7″ in diameter. If so, let’s see some photographic proof.
Maybe she meant circumference instead of diameter? I think people get those mixed up sometimes.
Clearly your friend was mistaken, whether she was confusing centimeters for inches or circumference for diameter. That’s really not the issue here. The issue is a WOMAN who is a size queen? That’s a rarity. Penis size is an issue typically by men for men.
My favorite quote overheard recently:
Man: You know, I have a ten inch penis.
Woman: Too bad. I only have a six inch vagina.
“The issue is a WOMAN who is a size queen? That’s a rarity.”
Not in MY experience.
Guys, if she tells you “size doesn’t matter”, she’s probably _lying_. Most likely to avoid hurting your feelings.
I know PLENTY of women who are “size queens”, in fact, I don’t know any who would really say that size DOESN’T matter. But then, I’m a Heartless Bitch…
hay there … she must of ment 7 inches long even most men dont have seven inches in lenth never mind in diameter i am a male and i have 7 1/2 in lenth and 1 1/2 in diameter and i think thats big but i would say thats b.s. and if it is true i feel sorry for him because no girl wonts him i mean it just would not fit and it would no be hard enough to penetrate….
I’ve been away for awhile and so I’m posting this way after the fact but here goes.
Um, I think I might have dated that guy..or a relative of his. It was a no go the first time we tried to “join” with one another. I stopped dating him. It was just too big. I have big hands, and I couldn’t get one wrapped around his apparatus with the fingers closing – my hands are 7 inches from tip of middle finger to base of palm.
THEN since the normal sex method was clearly impossible, he asked for oral sex. :|
My response, “Honey, if I can’t get these lips around it, (pointing to crotch) what makes you think I can get these lips around it?” (pointing to mouth)
He exclusively dates mothers now.
True story.