Comments on: “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful…”

By: sedna

sedna — Sat, 19 May 2007 20:45:13 +0000

I would like to quote the book “On Love” from the philosopher J.Krishnamurti:
“Love comes not from the mind, not from thinking, therefor is fearless”. Thoughts of fidelity/infidelity are created by the mind as is fear. The mind would like to insure stability and consistence so as not to be “disturbed” by fear, so as not to “loose” what it considers “having” hence the mind-made contract of fidelity.
An abusive “unhealthy’ relationship is purely based on power (struggles) therefor there is no “freedom”, all is fear. One can not be seduced from an unhealthy relationship is more true. It’s very hard to free yourself from an unhealthy relationship all together.
So if in a healthy relationship you choose not to act on the seduction and choose fidelity this does not mean you have not been seduced, it means your relationship is healthy not abusive or power controlled and you can be seduced and choose not to act on it, yet another freedom you have! If you choose not to act on “it” what does the “it” mean?
It means you have been seduced or have seduced and this means you are a healthy loving, attractive person with choices, the true basis for a healthy relationship anyway.

By: marzena

marzena — Fri, 11 May 2007 16:14:51 +0000

I’m not sure sedna that I understand what you mean by “the fact that a relationship is working gives choice to seduction”. Does it mean that when a relationship is not working, then there is no choice whether you succumb to temptation or not? That’s a strange thing to say. There are relationships that don’t work at the beginning (or during some episode anywhere in the middle) but because people make the right choices, they work things out and are happy together. But, some may make the wrong choices, like get seduced and follow it and then the relationship has no chance to work again. This is clearly due to personal choices and not something predetermined due to external factors.
Whether a person allows him/herself to be seduced, or desires the attention from more then one person, is a completely different problem. But it’s a problem that is entirely about the person her/himself, not due to anything about the relationship. Most often it’s about low self-esteem and insecurity. People who don’t feel attractive or good enough as they are, they may have a great relationship and will still look for other people to validate them. But people who have a strong, healthy self-esteem will be able to tell whether this relationship is worth to work for and if they decide that it is, they will do anything it takes, sometimes against many obstacles, to build it strong and fulfilling.

By: sedna

sedna — Sat, 07 Apr 2007 21:48:55 +0000

Indeed, the fact that a relationship is actually working gives choice to seduction whether sexual or not.

By: Natalie P.

Natalie P. — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 18:03:55 +0000

Kim, I wholeheartedly agree.

I think there are far too many things in our lives that people want to shuck of as “beyond my control”, when in fact, they ARE choices, such as choosing to be seduced.

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Sun, 25 Mar 2007 05:14:12 +0000

I have a theory about the whole seduction thing…people are seduced only if the WANT to be seduced. I’m tired of people excusing seduction like it is some uncontrollable event that takes place. If you are in a strong, healthy, solid, name your goodness here relationship, chances are you are not looking or open to being seduced by another. If you are, you are CHOOSING that experience, unless, of course, that other person is holding a gun to your head, eh?

Natalie, you’ve done it again! Love it! This blog not only touches on some of my own personal experiences, but also sheds much light on just how much women still do compete, in a negative manner, against other women. Kudos to you!! :o)