Comments on: Nobody “made” you do it… http://blog.heartless-bitches.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/48 HeartlessBitches.com - The View from the Editor's Chair... Mon, 12 Jul 2010 17:01:01 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Jay Stewart http://blog.heartless-bitches.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/48/comment-page-1#comment-5504 Jay Stewart Sun, 05 Aug 2007 13:21:25 +0000 http://blog.heartless-bitches.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/48#comment-5504 Depression is not something I like to wallow around in. There is nothing glorious about it and given the choice between wallowing in it and working through it? I choose the latter. Maybe it is the British Bulldog in me? People thought it was strange when I was 12,that I was not sad about my grandfather died. Because I said he was in a better place now and he is not suffering anymore. His death was a relief to us because he had been fading away for so long. I think the Brothers Young from AC/DC when losing Bon Scott to an all-night drinking binge, for most bands that would have been the end. The Young brothers decided to deal with their depression by getting a new singer and became bigger then ever. I dealt with my share bullies and I grew up in a tougher neighbourhood then most people. Jersey City is as tough as it gets. People are amazed about how gentle, nuturing, sweet and femme I am. Being that it was tough for me, I decided I wanted to live my adult life being who I really am. But I can still be a bitch when provoked. I only act like a bitch when I have to. I did not become an asshole, in fact my experiences have made me want to help others and I try to do so. Because in the process of growing up? I met a lot of caring people who were a help to me and I am grateful, so I do the same not because I expect a reward, but because it is the right thing to do. Help is there if you want it. Yeah it sucks people can be jerks. But I became myself because I was determined not to be beaten down and claiming my true indentity? I didn't get defeated. Depression is not something I like to wallow around in. There is nothing glorious about it and given the choice between wallowing in it and working through it? I choose the latter. Maybe it is the British Bulldog in me? People thought it was strange when I was 12,that I was not sad about my grandfather died. Because I said he was in a better place now and he is not suffering anymore. His death was a relief to us because he had been fading away for so long. I think the Brothers Young from AC/DC when losing Bon Scott to an all-night drinking binge, for most bands that would have been the end. The Young brothers decided to deal with their depression by getting a new singer and became bigger then ever.

I dealt with my share bullies and I grew up in a tougher neighbourhood then most people. Jersey City is as tough as it gets. People are amazed about how gentle, nuturing, sweet and femme I am. Being that it was tough for me, I decided I wanted to live my adult life being who I really am. But I can still be a bitch when provoked. I only act like a bitch when I have to. I did not become an asshole, in fact my experiences have made me want to help others and I try to do so. Because in the process of growing up? I met a lot of caring people who were a help to me and I am grateful, so I do the same not because I expect a reward, but because it is the right thing to do. Help is there if you want it. Yeah it sucks people can be jerks. But I became myself because I was determined not to be beaten down and claiming my true indentity? I didn’t get defeated.

]]> By: Milferd Jones http://blog.heartless-bitches.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/48/comment-page-1#comment-2692 Milferd Jones Sun, 20 May 2007 01:32:24 +0000 http://blog.heartless-bitches.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/48#comment-2692 Good comments especially for avoiding and dealing with mild to moderate depression. I agree current society is increasing the occurrence of depression. I agree self pity is a major trait of depression As others have mentioned there can be a genetic or other physical causes as well. From my study and experience major depression can drag you into the self-pity hole against your will. This is most demonstrated when a self confidant adult who does not indulge in much if any self pity falls in to major depression from a genetic cause, brain injury, postpartum, major physical injury and/or surgery, PTSD and other causes. Then the formally well adjusted person will wallow in self pity but trying to talk them out it will almost always fail. Here the self pity, and other negative traits of depression are the disease warping the minds way of thinking in some ways similar to the type of thinking caused by paranoid delusions. Summery of my opinion/observations. Self-pity and other negative thinking can cause the chemical changes of depression. Changes in the brain as I listed above can cause depression that then causes the self-pity and other negative thinking of depression. Both can occur at the same time. This is an example of a nature vs. nurture debate that in my humble option most often is lots of both are involved. Good comments especially for avoiding and dealing with mild to moderate depression. I agree current society is increasing the occurrence of depression. I agree self pity is a major trait of depression

As others have mentioned there can be a genetic or other physical causes as well.

From my study and experience major depression can drag you into the self-pity hole against your will. This is most demonstrated when a self confidant adult who does not indulge in much if any self pity falls in to major depression from a genetic cause, brain injury, postpartum, major physical injury and/or surgery, PTSD and other causes. Then the formally well adjusted person will wallow in self pity but trying to talk them out it will almost always fail. Here the self pity, and other negative traits of depression are the disease warping the minds way of thinking in some ways similar to the type of thinking caused by paranoid delusions.

Summery of my opinion/observations. Self-pity and other negative thinking can cause the chemical changes of depression. Changes in the brain as I listed above can cause depression that then causes the self-pity and other negative thinking of depression. Both can occur at the same time. This is an example of a nature vs. nurture debate that in my humble option most often is lots of both are involved.

]]> By: Jodie http://blog.heartless-bitches.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/48/comment-page-1#comment-1977 Jodie Tue, 08 May 2007 04:40:56 +0000 http://blog.heartless-bitches.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/48#comment-1977 Amen, sister! Thank you so much for eloquently putting into words the thoughts that have been bouncing between my ears since the shootings happened. Amen, sister!

Thank you so much for eloquently putting into words the thoughts that have been bouncing between my ears since the shootings happened.

]]> By: marzena http://blog.heartless-bitches.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/48/comment-page-1#comment-1866 marzena Fri, 04 May 2007 16:51:02 +0000 http://blog.heartless-bitches.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/48#comment-1866 If it's ok, I'd like to share a link to a video with commentary of Jackson Katz (an anti-sexist activist) to the VT shooting: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rG0M9Y6GuI He comments on a different aspect of the tragedy (then Natalie did) but he makes a great point. If it’s ok, I’d like to share a link to a video with commentary of Jackson Katz (an anti-sexist activist) to the VT shooting:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6rG0M9Y6GuI

He comments on a different aspect of the tragedy (then Natalie did) but he makes a great point.

]]> By: Momo http://blog.heartless-bitches.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/48/comment-page-1#comment-1719 Momo Sun, 29 Apr 2007 03:28:50 +0000 http://blog.heartless-bitches.com/wordpress/index.php/archives/48#comment-1719 Mentally illnesses are not solely derived from self pity. The roots may have nothing to do with and voluntary emotions. However, whether or not you can control it, what you decide DO ABOUT IT determines how good or bad it gets. You can try to control it, or you can let it control you. Self-pity isn't the only thing that makes mental illness so bad, it can also be denial, fear of public image, lack of resources (fuck you very much, USA healthcare system), or other things. Mentally illnesses are not solely derived from self pity. The roots may have nothing to do with and voluntary emotions. However, whether or not you can control it, what you decide DO ABOUT IT determines how good or bad it gets. You can try to control it, or you can let it control you. Self-pity isn’t the only thing that makes mental illness so bad, it can also be denial, fear of public image, lack of resources (fuck you very much, USA healthcare system), or other things.

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