The bumper sticker that saved me $90

January 30, 2008 | Filed Under The Heartless Bitch Way | 5 Comments

As some of you my know, The Bus and I have been dating for a while now, and for the most part, it’s my primary mode of transport to/from work.  My green granola friends are all thrilled that I am taking the environmentally sensible option (yes, cycling would be more friendly, but is downright impossible during the winter here).  But in truth, the reason I take the bus is because a) the drivers here are STUPID and at the end of a hard day, I find fighting downtown traffic to be aggravating in the extreme, and b) my work doesn’t pay for parking, which is about $8/day – the bus is $3.80/day.

That being said, there are times when I do need to take my car – running around in the east end of the city, boxes of stuff to pick up or ship – that sort of thing.

Last week, I had one of those days.  Things ran later than expected. I had a meeting at 1pm and I was rushing to get into the office. As I came into the city from a freeway off-ramp, I got tagged by a cop with a radar gun.

DAMN. 

I was doing 70km/h in a 50 zone when he tagged me. (it was one of those nasty zone-changes that goes from 80Km/h to 50Km/h, and he dinged me just as I was slowing down). It’s a $90 fine for 20Km/h over the limit.  And I haven’t had a speeding ticket in 12 years.  Ouch.

He walked up to the car, chuckling.

huh?

Somewhat mirthfully, he says, “You were doing 70 in a 50 zone.” 

Ok, I’m not used to a cop LAUGHING while giving me a ticket.

Unnerved, I replied, “Damn. thought it wasn’t 50 until up here – I pointed further ahead to the next zone sign.  I was slowing down for that sign.”

Still chuckling he said, “What do you do?”

I was puzzled.  “I work for a software company – down here in the market”, I responded somewhat hesitantly.

Laughing out loud now, “Where did you get that bumper sticker?”

I had to think for a second.  “That? Oh, at Carlingwood…. It’s TRUE though!  People here are TERRIBLE about tailgating. Drives me nuts.  When I saw that bumper sticker, I just HAD to get it.”

Barely able to contain himself he said, “I’m going to give you a warning this time. Just for that bumper sticker. Best laugh I’ve had all week.  You have a good day and slow down.”  And he went back to his car, still chortling.

The bumper sticker that had tickled his funny bone?

“If you are going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair.”